Before you start with your gbas gbos, bear in mind I wrote and published this circa 2011/2012
Let’s take it back, shall we? A throwback so spicy, it nearly got me cancelled before “cancel culture” became a buzzword. I honestly can’t remember what possessed me to write “Naija Celebs and Their Stans” the first time around but babyyy!!! It stirred the pot and set off alarms in fanbase group chats across the country.
Looking back, that piece marked the beginning of my deep-dive into Nigerian fan culture arguably one of the most dramatic, chaotic, and fascinating corners of pop culture we still pretend doesn’t exist. Naija celebs and their fans? It’s less “support system” and more “emotional hostage situation.” Let’s be honest, it was and remains a whole cultural circus.
And yes, I swore I wasn’t going to gossip, but did I say I wouldn’t analyze? Because the new era of celeb-fan dynamics in Nigeria? Sweetie, it’s giving para-social romance, PR crisis center, and religious devotion all at once.
I stumbled on the OG post after a blog reposted it (without credit, of course, very classic). So here it is again, freshly dug up for your nostalgic pleasure. Let me know: does it still hit, or have the tables turned?
Should I serve a modern one in a part two?
The Olu Maintain stans
- Most deadly stan group.
- They live in the past and are basically regarded as old school
- They tend to reminisce a lot about artistes such as Edris Abdulkareem, Tony Tetula, BigLo, who are certainly no where to be found and have committed career suicide
The UTI Fans
- Mostly gay boys that are skinny, teenagers and early 20′s
- The often still get allowance
- They talk big but can’t fight and lie to him about how good his music is
- Also artsy lesbians into modeling and fashion
The Joke Silva Stans
- They still live in the 90s
- They have no memory of 2000s and always refer to her early days of acting
- They fail to realize she might soon require oesophagal surgery if she keeps straining her buccal muscle in effort to overpronounce every word.
The D’banj Stans
- Mostly gays & obese girls from 18-30 also razz and not so razz boys that don’t know what class is, especially when and where to take wine or the appropriate time to take champagne, everything is champagne, hennessy and moet to them
- Still in the university trying to graduate and or swallow and get involved in oral transactions for Gucci bags
- Think that the response to every comment is “oshey, don’t get it twisted”
The Wizkid stans
- They know nothing about music or history of music
- Mostly skinny pretty girls between ages 16 – 27
- The think everybody is a “Hater”
- They do not only attack your twitter or facebook when you give a sincere-brutal comment on him, they mess with your IP address and block you on twitter especially when they are not following you.
- Hate to admit his wrong doings
The Tiwa Savage Stans
- They call her the only diva in Nigeria’s entertainment industry
- Never want to admit that she looks like a drag queen and applies way too much earth clay instead of Mary Kay pancake.
- They attack your site when you make a review about her and attack your IP address, twitter and facebook
- Oh, they hate SheiFunmi, forgetting he is a fan of Tiwa and knows all her music history right from her early days
- They always chant “Tiwa is a grammy artist”. As if…Pfffttt
The Denrele Stans
- Wear bright contacts
- Can’t wear anything other than skinny jeans, bodysocks and saggy tights
- Slightly old females that tend to be faghags or beards to closeted gay men
- Extremely effeminate (males) in nature
- They always think they are mad or equally as crazy he is
The DavidO Stans
- Generally young adults male and female wanting to date him
- They only admit his scandal with Sonia in DMs
- They secretly save his shirtless pictures and photos with his dimples vividly showing
- They secretly hate wizkid and see them (wizkid and davido) as competitors
The Omawumi Stans
- Love the fact that she is razz
- Never want to admit Waje is a better singer and Omawumi is overshadowing her
- They are hyperactive and can often dance their butt off
- They are still mad that she didn’t win Idol, also they don’t like Timi Dakolo
The Yinka Davies/ Yemi Alade Stans
- They think that screaming is the same thing as singing
- They attack more successful artists
- They are often invisible
The M.I Stans
- Can’t name rappers besides Iceprince & Naeto C
- Think they are poetic in nature
Even me wey read am, think I harsh… but do I still feel the same way about this list now? Absolutely not, I have a different take and a lot has changed in this era of socio-political climate. and fan culture generally. It is highly intellectual now, you can tell who stans from a place of passion and who stans from a place of bigotry and clout.
